Letters
by Weird Girl 14
Summary: THIS IS KAWAIIKITTEY ON WEIRD GIRL'S ACCOUNT  People writing letters to other people. Humans; a bit AU. Pairings? You tell me. Rated for swearing. It looked better on Notepad...


This is kawaiikittey, so don't get excited. Yeah, BE DISAPPOINTED. (shot) Anyways, I was on a train. With my laptop. And boredom. So my brain regurgitated. And this is the result. If anyone at all likes a particular chain of letters, drop a review demanding an expansion. It'll be short anyways. (shot)

Enjoy.

Like,  
>Toris, are you like, totally hiding my nail polish? Because that is like, totally not cool.<br>Love,  
>Feliks<p>

Dear Feliks,  
>I cannot possibly be hiding your nail polish, since I'm currently running for my life from Ivan. Mind actually helping this time?<br>From,  
>Toris<p>

Like,  
>That is totally not cool. The fact that you're not hiding my nail polish, I mean. I mean like, if you totally don't have it, who like, does? Totally upset,<br>Feliks

Dear Feliks,  
>...I think I saw your nail polish in Ivan's house. I think he stole it. NOW will you come and help us?<br>From,  
>Toris<p>

Like,  
>No way. There's like, totally no way I'm gonna go to that creepy dude's house for a bottle of nail polish! I mean like, he's got NO fashion sense. Have fun dearie!<br>Love,  
>Feliks<p>

Dear Feliks,  
>Thanks for all of your help. = =*<br>From,  
>Toris<p>

My friend Feliks,  
>please become one with Mother Russia. We have miniskirts and nail polish and naked Lithuanians.<br>-Mother Russia

Like,  
>TOTALLY no way~! Hey, I got your address now! Haha! Take this!<br>~ If you don't send this to five CLOSE friends, your house will burn to the ground and your skin will turn orange for the rest of your life.  
>Love,<br>Feliks

-  
>Dear Toris,<br>Help me. Eduard is hiding in the kitchen, and HE'S COMING Terrified, Raivis

Dear Raivis,  
>Can't you get Tino or Berwald to help you? I don't stand a chance against him. Running for my life,<br>Toris

Dear Toris,  
>TAKE ME WITH YOU. DEAR GOD, SAVE ME.<br>In much pain,  
>Ravis<p>

Dear Raivis,  
>You know what's funny? Eduard screams whenever you get hurt, and yet...<br>Sorry!  
>Toris<p>

Dear Toris,  
>I think he's faking it. = = Can barely move,<br>Raivis

Dear Raivis,  
>If you can barely move, you wouldn't be able to write this letter, let alone send it.<br>From,  
>Toris<p>

Dear Toris,  
>Does that mean you're not coming?<br>All alone,  
>Raivis<p>

-  
>Alfred,<br>go help Raivis and Toris, "hero."  
>-Arthur<p>

Dear Artie,  
>Nuh uh. I started a nuclear war with him once. Your hero,<br>Alfred PS: I'm YOUR hero. See? I'm still the hero.

Git,  
>You're not THE hero if you're just MY hero.<br>-Arthur PS: I don't like the sound of Russians manically laughing while doing unspeakable things to Lithuanians. And possibly Latvians.

Dear Artie,  
>Yeah I am! Your hero,<br>Alfred PS: I can get you headphones.

Bloody idiot,  
>Don't you have a conscience?<br>-Arthur

Dear Artie,  
>Yeah, but have you ever fought Ivan before?<br>Your hero,  
>Alfred<p>

Wanker,  
>Of course I have. Fine, I'll go on my own. And I'll get captured. And you'll be too chicken to get me.<br>-Arthur PS: Heroes at this point would agree to help them, personal hero or not.

Dear Artie,  
>I decided to barricade you in your room instead. I love you~!<br>Your hero,  
>Alfred<p>

Bloody wanker,  
>Give me the headphones.<br>-Arthur

-  
>Feliciano,<br>Get to training on time.  
>-Ludwig<p>

My best friend Ludwig,  
>But I don't like training! :DYour bestest friend ever in the whole world, Feliciano<p>

Feliciano,  
>That's why it's called training.<br>-Ludwig

My best friend Ludwig,  
>The food is bad.<br>Your bestest friend ever in the whole world,  
>Feliciano<p>

Feliciano,  
>Bring a lunchbox.<br>-Ludwig

My best friend Ludwig,  
>When do I make it?<br>Your bestest friend in the whole world,  
>Feliciano<p>

Feliciano,  
>Get up early.<br>-Ludwig

My best friend Ludwig,  
>Nope~!<br>Your bestest friend in the whole world,  
>Feliciano<p>

Feliciano,  
>I'll make it for you then. = =*<br>-Ludwig

My best friend Ludwig,  
>Ew.<br>Your bestest friend in the whole world,  
>Feliciano<p>

Feliciano,  
>Just...get to training on time.<br>-Ludwig

My best friend Ludwig,  
>Okay!<br>Your bestest friend in the whole world,  
>Feliciano<p>

-  
>Dear Cuba,<br>Please stop hurting me.  
>-Matthew<p>

Dear Matthew,  
>I am SO sorry! I thought you were Alfred. D: Please enjoy the ice cream I sent you.<br>-Cuba

-  
>My little Rovi,<br>What would you like for dinner tonight?  
>Love,<br>Antonio

Jerk,  
>I want pasta.<br>-Lovino PS: It's Lovino, not Rovi, bastard!

My little Rovi,  
>But I like calling you Rovi. :3 Love,<br>Antonio

Jerk,  
>I hate you.<br>-Lovino

My little Rovi,  
>D: You're joking, right?<br>Love,  
>Antonio<p>

Jerk,  
>Why do you go out clubbing with Francis anyways?<br>-Lovino

My little Rovi,  
>I go with Gilbert too! :D Love, Antonio<p>

Jerk,  
>Answer the fucking question.<br>-Lovino

My little Rovi,  
>Because it's fun. :D Love,<br>Antonio

Jerk,  
>Bastard.<br>-Lovino

My little Rovi,  
>If you want to have fun too, you could just say so. We could have LOTS of fun! Love, Antonio<p>

Jerk,  
>No. = = -Lovino<p>

My little Rovi,  
>Are you sure?<br>Love,  
>Antonio<p>

Jerk,  
>Yes I am.<br>-Lovino

My little Rovi,  
>D: But you're so TENSE all the time~ Love,<br>Antonio

Jerk,  
>Come home sober and we'll see about 'having fun'<br>-Lovino

My little Rovi,  
>HAHA, I WIN!<br>Coming in now,  
>Antonio<p>

-  
>Dear Mattie,<br>You wanna go to an awesome bar?  
>The awesomest,<br>Gilbert

Dear Gilbert,  
>No thanks.<br>-Matthew

Dear Mattheiu,  
>Would you like to come to a wine tasting with moi?<br>Yours,  
>Francis<p>

Dear Francis,  
>Sorry, I'm going drinking with Gilbert.<br>-Matthew

Dear Gilbert,  
>Changed my mind.<br>-Matthew

Dear Mattie,  
>Knew you'd come round.<br>The awesomest,  
>Gilbert<p>

Dear Gilbert,  
>Wanted an excuse to avoid Francis.<br>-Matthew

Dear Mattie,  
>Damn.<br>The awesomest,  
>Gilbert<p>

-  
>Dear Angleterre,<br>Would you like to come to a wine tasting with moi?  
>Yours,<br>Francis

Francis,  
>No. I'm barricaded in my room.<br>-Arthur PS: I don't speak French, bastard!

Dear Angleterre,  
>I could get you out.<br>Yours,  
>Francis<p>

Francis,  
>I'll stay in here.<br>-Arthur

-  
>Dear Artie,<br>So I heard you're going to a wine tasting.  
>Your hero,<br>Alfred

Alfred,  
>No, I'm not. I'm barricaded in my room. still.<br>-Arthur

Dear Artie,  
>With Francis.<br>Your hero,  
>Alfred<p>

Alfred,  
>Idiot, where do you think I would go with that biscuit?<br>-Arthur

Dear Artie,  
>I dunno. Places.<br>Your hero,  
>Alfred<p>

Alfred,  
>Stop worrying and get in here. I have a present for you.<br>-Arthur PS: It's a scarf, so don't expect too much.

-  
>Dear Berwald, Please help me.<br>Stuck,  
>Tino<p>

Dear Tino I'm coming.  
>Your husband,<br>Berwald

Dear Berwald,  
>Thank you. Next time can we not make bookshelves that close to each other?<br>Freed, Tino PS: Please stop calling me your wife.

Dear Tino,  
>I'll move them farther apart tomorrow.<br>Your husband,  
>Berwald PS: No.<p>

-  
>Dear Heracles,<br>I think I found one of your cats.  
>From,<br>Kiku

Hi Kiku,  
>Did you? I guess I'll come by and pick him up...soon...<br>Sleepy,  
>Heracles<p>

Dear Heracles,  
>Should I spread out newspaper somewhere? Should I put it in attic, or should I leave it with me? Should I feed it? And when exactly are you coming over?<br>From,  
>Kiku<p>

Hi Kiku,  
>...no? After my nap?<br>Sleepy,  
>Heracles<p>

Dear Heracles,  
>What do you mean 'no'? And when will that be? From,<br>Kiku

Hi Kiku,  
>I just finished my nap. I'm coming over now.<br>Sleepy,  
>Heracles<p>

Dear Heracles,  
>Okay.<br>From,  
>Kiku PS: Was your nap not restful?<p>

Hi Kiku,  
>That's not my cat. Sleepy,<br>Heracles PS: It was.

Dear Heracles,  
>Whose cat is it?<br>From,  
>Kiku PS: And you're stil tired?<p>

Hi Kiku,  
>It might be Francis's.<br>Sleepy,  
>Heracles PS: Not tired. Just sleepy.<p>

Dear Heracles,  
>It's not Francis's.<br>From,  
>Kiku<p>

Hi Kiku,  
>...can I have it?<br>Sleepy, Heracles

Dear Heracles,  
>Sure.<br>From,  
>Kiku<p>

Hey Kiku!  
>Is it true that write regularly to that jerk Heralces? We're best friends though, right?<br>Your friend,  
>Sadiq<p>

-  
>Antonio,<br>Please stop coming to my house. Feliciano is not Lovino.  
>-Ludwig<p>

Dear Luddy,  
>Sorry~!<br>Yours,  
>Antonio<p>

Jerk,  
>I'm at your house, bastard.<br>-Lovino

-  
>Dear Matthieu,<br>Would you like to try a new resturaunt that opened near my house?  
>Yours,<br>Francis

Dear Francis,  
>No thanks.<br>-Matthew

Dear Mattie,  
>Wanna go to IHOP with me?<br>The awesomest,  
>Gilbert<p>

Dear Gilbert,  
>They don't have maple syrup.<br>-Matthew

Dear Mattie,  
>They have a special. Started this Monday. Ends tomorrow.<br>The awesomest,  
>Gilbert<p>

Dear Gilbert,  
>...you're paying.<br>-Matthew

-  
>Alfred,<br>Please stop trying to take me to McDonalds.  
>-Arthur<p>

Dear Artie,  
>But McDonalds is good!<br>Your hero,  
>Alfred<p>

Idiot,  
>No it isn't.<br>-Arthur

Dear Artie,  
>Yes it is.<br>Your hero,  
>Alfred<p>

Bloody git,  
>I'm going to Francis's house then. -Arthur<p>

Dear Artie,  
>You wouldn't dare.<br>Your hero,  
>Alfred<p>

Alfred,  
>Cafe de Isles. You're paying.<br>-Arthur

Dear Artie,  
>Fine.<br>Your hero,  
>Alfred<p>

-  
>Dear Eduard,<br>Please help me.  
>Scared,<br>Raivis

Raivis,  
>I can't.<br>Sincerely,  
>Eduard<p>

Dear Eduard,  
>I'm begging you. PLEASE.<br>Terrified,  
>Raivis<p>

Raivis,  
>I don't stand a chance against him.<br>Sinerely,  
>Eduard<p>

Dear Eduard AT least TRY! Toris ditched me for Feliks!  
>Horrified,<br>Raivis

Raivis, Just don't say anything when he gets home.  
>Sincerely, Eduard.<p>

Dear Eduard,  
>Not working.<br>In pain,  
>Raivis<p>

Raivis,  
>So I heard...<br>Sincerely,  
>Eduard<p>

Dear Eduard,  
>Then why don't you HELP me?<br>Agonized,  
>Raivis<p>

Raivis,  
>Agonized isn't a word...<br>Sincerely,  
>Eduard<p>

Dear Eduard,  
>Answer. The. Question. PLEASE.<br>In AGONIZING pain,  
>Raivis<p>

Raivis,  
>Because he's too strong!<br>Sincerely,  
>Eduard<p>

Dear Eduard,  
>This is why I want a brother...<br>All alone,  
>Raivis<p>

Raivis,  
>You have Peter...<br>Sincerely,  
>Eduard<p>

Dear Eduard,  
>We're the BALTIC STATES! Say something about that! Come on, Eduard!<br>All alone AND sad,  
>Raivis<p>

Feliks - Poland

Toris - Lithuania

Ivan - Russia

Raivis - Latvia

Eduard - Estonia

Alfred - America

Arthur - England

Feliciano - Italy

Ludwig - Germany

Cuba - I was too lazy to give him a human name. I'M SORRY.

Matthew/Mattie/Mattheiu - Canada (I know I spelled the last one wrong...)

Lovino/Rovi - S. Italy

Antonio - Spain

Francis - France

Gilbert - Prussia

Berwald - Sweden

Tino - Finland

Heracles - Greece

Kiku - Japan

Yeah. I think that's everything. OH YEAH. I guess the Baltic States is just a club that they made...and Raivis and Toris and Eduard are kidnapped? I don't know. I seriously don't know what I'm doing anymore...

So just tell me how bad it was. :D


End file.
